Grasping my heart, stopping the negative thoughts

It's a wed. And oh well today was supposedly fine. But I don't know why I turn emo suddenly. Guess I take things to o seriously? I need to relax, n not take jokes to heart. I mean :( I can't help thinking abt it. Why do what ppl say matter so much to me? I rlly shouldn't care, n just take it lightly it's all a joke after all. It's rlly ok to be the joke. But sometimes, I can't help but feel that I am not born to be a joke. I have feelings too :( And I just hide every feeling behind the smile of mine. My smile serves two purpose. One is genuine, the other is just to hide the tears rolling behind my eyes. Why do I have to be so emo haish. I rlly can't control my negative thoughts :(