Some thoughts

It's been a long time since I blogged. It's like I just post on a monthly basis. That's not quite frequent. There's so much thoughts and feelings running through me. It's just that I don't usually share it. I just keep them to myself and I'll just think abt it the whole day. Tonight is another night whr I'm thinking yet again. I don't know why I have such thoughts but it's really running in my head. Like I don't know, I just feel insecure. I don't understand why. Could it be that I'm feeling a tinge of jealousy? I really don't know. Looking at photos from the past and comparing to now, a lot of things have changed. Maybe we're all changing everyday but we don't seem to notice. Only when we look back do we then realise how much things have changed. I'm just having the thought: just how important am I to you? I really want to know. It's like certain ways that u treat me that gave me the idea of me not being important. There are times when I feel hurt. It's like I'm totally worthless. Maybe I should just step out. Maybe someone else is much better than me. In fact the whole world has so many more people better than me, I'm just another ordinary person who doesn't have much worth? I'm insecure most of the time. Negative thoughts, blur, careless, blunt in my speeches, awkward, slow. Just so many bad qualities. Unlike other people, who are smart, eloquent, communicate so fluently, talk so smoothly and sweet, able to please everyone, helpful. It's not that I don't want to help, sometimes it's just beyond me. I'm afraid I'll just make things worse. I'm sorry I aren't like them. It's just me. Maybe u'll feel happier with someone else. So I'll just retreat into my own world.